June 08 – Is that a ghost I see?

Hello Ladies! Welcome to the latest re-cap of our LADIES DAY, for the first weekend in June. We all woke up to a wonderful gift of bright blue skies, a cool breeze and not a threatening cloud in sight. Anita and I work hard to ensure everything’s at its best for Ladies Day and we were very happy that our request for blue skies had been answered. Most of us thought ahead and car pooled down to the West Terrace Cemetery, except for Michelle, who bused it all the way from Morphett Vale. Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize that all the other Ladies were not good enough to catch a lift with!

We were met at the cemetery gates by our tour guide, the wonderful Jan; who was exceptionally wonderful in the fact that she didn't kill me and shove my body into a cracked open tomb. I am now, have been and always will be the worst person to tour with ANYWHERE ANYTIME. I choose to believe that I am curious, inventive, lively and entertaining. The last tour guide that attempted to murder me told the court reporter that I was loud, annoying, loud, rude, loud and off with the fairies; and even though I dropped the charges, my husband still said he's never showing me around the Onkaparinga gorge again.

I would like to say a special thank you and well done to Anita's Mum, Dawn, who, with the night hours that she works as a nurse at Wakefield Hospital, meant that she did the cemetery tour with her body clock chiming at 3am. What a trooper! In honor of such efforts, I have deleted all the photographs I took of you; photos that I only took because it became known to me that you hated having your photo taken – what?! I told you I was horrible on tour!

We saw many interesting tombs with details such as; Rebecca Myers, Born – 1990 Died – 5669 (Jewish calender), several people who died due to being "speared by the treacherous blacks" and poor Caroline Dawkins who "fell asleep"! There were gargoyles, a life size stone carving of the deceased, angles, drums and even carved music and lyrics of a favourite song. The pace of the tour was great, Jan was always chatting and you could wander off and take photos then rejoin the group and ask all the questions that you wouldn't have had to ask if you'd stayed with the group in the first place; very informal. Again, this was my take on thing – I also think it's okay to lie on a tomb that has your name carved on it, in order to have your photo taken, to set up shots like, pulling into an opened grave, or a shot of Anita under the headstone titled with the family name BIMBO. Hey! I was very excited! I'm not allowed out much! I mean GET out much! I don't GET out much.

After a 2Ѕ hour tour, no ghosts for poor Michelle and no toilet for an increasingly scary Anita, who was beyond busting, we had eaten our Menz fruchocs and mints, courtesy of Jan (and the dead Menz's) and were well and truly ready for lunch.

Anita, in maximum capacity urine frenzy, had Michelle, Holly and myself screaming as she attempted to turn the car around, whilst, in fact, actually succeeding in driving over, up and onto a grave (hence the screaming). Being a little preoccupied, she didn't believe us until she spotted the headstone herself – 10cm AWAY, LEVEL WITH THE DRIVERS SIDE WINDOW. Now that we were all screaming, crossing ourselves and apologizing loudly, we made way, Anita made a very important pit stop and we found ourselves at the restaurant at last.